Pain is worst when it shouldn’t be here
When it arrives on days decked with garland
When faces around glow with cheer and
Carols, well wishes all you hear.
Pain is most debilitating
When it’s a foreign thing
When it invades off limits relationships
My imagined world on its axis tips.
Wide swings pain with a blackened swath
Bathes home, and dreams and past.
When it colors over prisms of love
Reflections of joy, dreams of comfort.
Pain stings most when it has been lurking in shadows
When it strikes at everything that should be its antibody.
When hurt overcomes last bastions of resolve
And slings my soul upon the floor.
Pain hurts most when it’s slow.
A seeping chill from inside out
Damaging tender tissue, so touch’s sensation
Is blunted for the rest of time.
And sometimes there is nowhere to turn.
Sometimes, it leaks under walls and doors of protection.
Sometimes it invades safe haven and sanctuary.
Sometimes pain is unavoidable, healing a mirage,
And hope disguised.
And sometimes, courage musters its strength only
Through sharing pain
With a two-dimensional page
Drinking in the ink, swallowing, memorializing pain.
Going Beyond Belief 
I went through a very painful 2 1/2 years and miraculously made a full recovery, and I think a much better person than before. God and Jesus made this happen when I finally learnt to let go and to trust them completely.
One of the important things I found was to build footholds so I could not slip back again. I learnt to rebuild confidence. I learnt new things and made (for me) some amazing achievements. I learnt that nothing is easy but nothing is impossible. Here are some other things I learnt on the journey, which may help us to help other people :
– “We are products of our past but we don’t have to be prisoners of it”
– “God tests my faith through problems, tests my hope by how I handle possessions, and tests my love through people.”
– Job was wise : “Watch out that no bitterness takes root among you … it causes deep trouble, hurting many in their spiritual lives” (Hebrews 12:15 LB). I had to get better, not bitter.
– “Be careful how you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts” Proverbs 4:23 (TEV)
– The way you think determines the way you feel, and the way you feel influences the way you act. Transformation comes with changing thoughts, then everything else follows. I wish I’d learnt that sooner !
– We must stop being our own worst enemies and become our own best friends
– Humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less
– God told Jeremiah : “The plans I have for you are plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”. (God loves us all, no matter what we do).
– “Draw close to God and God will draw close to you.” James 4:8 (NLT)
When the Holy Spirit controls our lives, he will produce this kind of fruit in us : love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control
and then some verses from John Wesley (below). In some very dark days I occasionally saw the faint glimmer of light and then did put my trust in God and there was the brightest day. Incredible …..
Have a very Happy New Year Abby !!!
I feel that 2013 will be a wonderful year for you and your family.
kind regards
David
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Put thou thy trust in God,
In duty’s path go on;
Walk in His strength with faith and hope,
So shall thy work be done.
…..
Give to the winds Thy fears;
Hope, and be undismayed;
God hears thy sighs and counts thy tears;
God shall lift up thy head.
Through waves, and clouds, and storms,
His power will clear thy way;
Wait thou His time, the darkest night
Shall end in brightest day.
……
John Wesley (trans. From Paul Gerhardt)
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To your enemy, forgiveness.
To a friend, your heart.
To every child, a good example.
To yourself, respect. (Oren Arnold)
Wow. David, I’m so blessed that you read and comment here. That should be post in and of itself. Your wise words obviously come from experience. I admit too, learning that my thoughts affect my beliefs and actions is probably one of the most crucial things I am (still) learning. Happy New Year to you as well!