In the interest of transparency, full vulnerability and honoring the One Word Naked, here is an exert from my journal last week. It’s short, but I sat in my prayer chair in tears last week:
It feels like there is so much on my plate with trips home to visit family, uprooting my home in VA, setting up house in GA, saying goodbye over and over and over, while still trying to keep up with writing my book, my blog and for other Christian publications like Haven Journal and She Loves, and Finding Balance. I feel swamped. I’m overwhelmed and tired beyond the point of sleep.
This conversation with Abba actually began the night before as I lay corpse-like in my bed, trying to fall into a dead sleep and resulting only in a more lively mind than before, like fireflies dancing behind my eyelids, lightbulb thoughts popping above my head.
Father, I’m tempted to ask for more time. I need more hours to get ready for an overwhelming move, and more time here in this chair and more time with family and more time to write and and mostly more time to know you, the Etcher of time, the Hand of time, the closer of day and shutter of sun. To know you is to know the container of time, the perfect seed of moments and tender shoots of future.
Abby, I know. Do you remember what I spoke to you last night? Daughter, I love you so much. Remember, when you asked about each thing that worried you? I told you, ‘That’s not yours, this is.’ And I lifted your concerns, placing my Father-hand in yours.