I Don’t Want to Look Like an iPhone


[I wrote this article almost two years ago, so while the anecdotal stuff is no longer current, the emphasis of the article remains important.]

God got on a soapbox this week.

It started with a random email devotional from Desiring God ministries. I was curled in bed, determined to read the requisite “good stuff” before diving into the middle of my novel. The article by Tony Reinke was titled, “Six Ways Your iPhone is Changing You.”

Under the heading, “We become like what we behold”, Reinke wrote, “What we love to behold is what we worship. What we spend our time beholding shapes our hearts and molds us into the people we are. This spiritual truth is frightening and useful, but it raises the questions: What happens to our soul when we spend so much time beholding the glowing screens of our phones? How are we changed? How are we conformed?”

It’s kind of funny—God has used my eating disorder and the recovery process to shape me in so many ways; now most of what I learn and read is filtered through the lens of overcoming addiction, idolatry, fear, shame and the myriad other emotions connected to an eating disorder. I examined the article in that light.

In the last couple weeks, I’ve found myself more distracted by new recipes, new workout routines, conversations about health and fitness, etc. I’ve subscribed to a few different YouTube channels with more yoga workouts. Somehow, (I really don’t know how the internet seems to read my mind) I’ve started to get random emails about this or that approach to my “best body ever!”

The cool things is, these stimuli don’t affect me in the same way they used to. I still eat all my meals. I have no interest in working out like a fanatic. For all practical purposes, I’m still healthy—and I’m happy. But I’ve also felt an internal shift, a change in my affections and focus, a difference in what my mind dwells on in moments of inactivity. I’ve been wasting valuable mental energy planning tomorrow’s workout. In the evening when my husband and I watch television together, I’ve been distracted by searching for new recipes or reading the blog by a new favorite fitness professional.

These little habit changes wouldn’t raise a red flag for most people. In fact, most would probably see them as a positive interest in health and good nutrition. But I know my heart, I know my tendencies. I know my proclivity to bend a knee and subtly worship my body and things that pertain to it.

I’m praying about this, asking God to reorient my priorities. I’m leaving the smart phone in the other room. Modern culture bombards me with a constant stream of information, images, suggestions and ideas—and I become what I behold. The longer that I gaze at any form of media, feasting my mind on culture’s obsession with appearance, I cannot help but begin to assume that mold.

I want to look like Christ, not a one-dimensional supermodel. I must divert my eyes from the colorful attractions and preferences of the world and fix them on Jesus.

“…let us strip off..the sin that so easily trips us up…We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus.” Hebrews 12:1-2

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2 thoughts on “I Don’t Want to Look Like an iPhone

  1. Thanks for sharing this, Abby,

    It is so easy to get wrapped back up in worldly fads even when you thought you had put it all behind you. I used of follow certain blogs and podcasts, but have had to make myself stop looking at them, stop collecting “health recipes” (that I never got around to making anyway, ha ha), and not buy or subscribe to recipe or fitness magazines. While these things in and of themselves are not “bad”, my tendency is to “overdose” on such material. Thus, a with the alcoholic or former drug addict, if I know myself to be weak to these temptations, why would I even “play around” with it or think that It’s ok to just try a little when I know a little has always turned into a lot in the past. I’ll be praying for you and myself and all who struggle to continue to have strength to pursue Christ more than any blog, fad, or workout routine.

    In His Grace and Love,
    Michelle

  2. Michelle, I’ll be praying for you too.

    I think perhaps this is the part of an eating disorder that we must necessarily “always struggle” with. It’s the hard decision not to open the door even to the most “innocent” things that bear the risk of blowing our weak places wide open. Love!

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