Well, I was just about to hang up the proverbial hat and choose to make writing a well-remembered season. But that’s just it, I guess it was my choice, and not the plan God has for me … yet.
Not two weeks ago, the mere idea of conjuring up fresh content baffled me. Today, ideas are stirring in my spirit. I don’t know how original they are, but if God has rekindled the desire to put words to page, then He must have something valuable for me to say.
Similarly, I once put eating disorder recovery behind me. After I wrote the last chapter of my book, I literally “closed the book”. I haven’t reread it. I haven’t had any desire to continue ministry in that vein. But twice in one week, God has brought concerned family members and friends to me–seeking empathy, insight and hope for their own loved ones now struggling. Again, maybe I have something left to say.
Eve demands a lot of my time and attention right now. There’s scarcely a moment when I can actually string my thoughts together, let alone put them down in a manner respectable for an editor. However, at the same time, I’ve never had so much material as this little provides! I have a feeling she’s going to teach me, all over again and, what it means that God is my Father. She’s going display to me my desperate need for a savior, comforter, counselor and Abba.
I also feared that in my new role as Mommy, my quiet times with the Lord would be greatly diminished. Maybe so … kind of and sometimes … but at the same time, I find spontaneous worship and grateful tears so close to the surface.
I read Psalm 143 this morning and recalled how just within the last week, sweet Eve has begun stopping and reaching for me. When I move too fast, when she can’t keep up. When she hits a hard surface or simply doesn’t know where to go. When she wants out of her bed and when she simply wants to share the mirror with me, enjoy my company and make silly faces–she reaches for me.
I remember the days of old; I meditate on all that you have done; I ponder the work of your hands. I stretch out my hands to you; my soul thirsts for you like a parched land.
Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you I trust. Make me to know the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.” Psalm 143:6, 8