Learn to Love the Skin You’re In … by Amelia

Another thought-provoking article by a wonderful writer, Amelia, at The Bottom Line:

We can’t change our skin like snakes do; so, learning to be comfortable in our own skin is vital. We have to love ourselves, or else others will find it hard to do it for us. The message about “loving our bodies” is worn out. Yet, people aren’t convinced. Maybe it’s because the message about “skinny being the only sexy,” is louder.

Numerous people struggle to love their bodies—a large percentage of them are teenagers. An article on Huffington Post states, “About 40 percent of 10 and 11-year-old girls in the U.K. want to lose weight. That number rises to 54 percent in 12 and 13-year-old girls and to a stunning 63 percent among 14 and 15-year-olds.” While boys are less concerned about body image, they’re not all exempt.

Finish this post here … 

Believing Beautiful, being a part of it


I could sing of your love forever!
It rises, steam from snow soaked clay,
Warmed by soft rays of day.
Light dapples my lowered eyes,
And plays a joy-theme across my face.

What hell would be not to know,
From whence, from whom
This precipice of perfect emerges.
The crease between dawn and day,
Here I sit, here I am raptured.
How frail my worship seems.
It is drunk by your love, drunk by your presence.

And pleasure is found prostrate here,
In the crease between, in the budding light.
In the singleness, oneness of moment, morning, me and you.

Believing Beautiful at Haven Journal

Mirror, Mirror… Am I Ugly?

I admit, it’s sickening and addicting at the same time. “Am I Ugly?”

There’s a new trend in self-loathing: Ask the world, via the internet if you are ugly or fat. 

When I began my battle with anorexia, the conversation resembled Snow White, “Mirror, mirror on the wall…” Believe me, the mirror alone was convincing enough. My own reflection defeated me. It was painful enough to compare myself to my own sisters whom I believed were prettier, smarter, more likable. Imagining the stares of strangers on the street critiquing my body – too thin, too fat, plain, boring, stupid – lies I concocted in my own head replayed like broken records in my mind. It didn’t take a world-wide community to persuade me that I was unlovable and evoke behaviors that nearly killed me.

I did covert jumping jacks in the bathroom after midnight. I counted, tallied, re-counted, calculated, re-counted, looked up and recounted every calorie consumed or burned. The image of my own face seemed burned into my retina every moment I was in public. I imagined what others saw when they looked at me. My emotions swung from suicidal over my failures as a person, to jubilant and haughty that I was thinner or more self-disciplined than those around me.

Enter YouTube. What if you gave nearly everyone on planet earth the opportunity to confirm your private fears? What if 1,200 people thought it was their business to shape your self image. Apparently, a new community has evolved, one where youth, especially those 11-13, invite the world to either affirm them or destroy them.

I don’t know what to make of this. It is disturbing no matter how you look at it. Kids come home at night to hide in their bedrooms with their cellphone cameras, critically slicing and dicing themselves and then splicing the images into videos for world-wide publication. How narcissistic. Why do we believe that everyone cares what we look like?

Or, from the other angle, why do these kids believe they need everyone’s approval? And who are the self-appointed evaluators who believe their looks are superior enough to warrant criticism of another person?

As  much as I would like to sweeten this story by promising all little girls that they are indeed beautiful, I can’t. Obviously all our talk about “beauty being on the inside,” doesn’t really have much impact.

Maybe we need to be reminded that the Bible didn’t tell us anything about Jesus appearance. The only verse that borders on description says, “He had no form or majesty that we should look at him, and no beauty that we should desire him.” Isaiah 53:2

To this day, I’m not convinced that I am beautiful. There was no turning point in my recovery from anorexia when I suddenly saw my internal beauty, or began to admire my eyes, appreciate my hair or be content with my figure. But I can suddenly, almost surprisingly tell you that I FEEL beautiful. Even in the morning, when I am praying and tears streak down my unwashed face and bed-head tresses drape around my ears – I feel beautiful. Somehow, someway – heavier than I have been in 15 years, I FEEL BEAUTIFUL. Oh to share that. Oh that Jesus would present himself to these little ones and express His beauty from their hearts, through their eyes and expressions and ultimately through their words and key strokes. That God would be glorified by the beauty He created in each of them.



Welcome to my new business! Even if you’re shopped out or dedicated to a particular makeup line, don’t miss all the unique things that AVON has to offer. There are SHOES AND BAGS (my favorite) and THE NEW BABY LINE: TINY TILLIA.  There are pedicure specials, fragrances and Curves merchandise. Please let me know if you have any questions. You can contact me here or on my website, by clicking the image below. Thanks!



Its important to me that you know who I am internally, aside from the glitz and glamour of my modeling portfolio.I was raised by a missionary family in the Congo, Africa. I came to the United States and found my home in sports and my indentity in being a tom-boy. Truth is, I lost that girl amidst the crazy world of being a young adult, trying to prove myself and impress those around me. Modeling initially was a way for me to “prove” that I could take on this industry and be succesful, as if in some way it would validate who I was.


The transformation that happend, I believe saved my life. I began seeing a world driven by materialism and facades..and I developed as passion for representing truth. I want to represent a beauty that allures people in a pure way. I want to represent the truth in fitness by not buying into fads or unhealthy means to look good. And through those representation, my deepest desire is that somehow, even if its in a tiny way, I’ll be able to encourage others to be exactly who they are.Allowing them to go back to their roots, and forget the expectations and approvals of everyone except their creator, no magazine spread or cover, no amount of recognition, or any monetary value could outweigh the importance of “people“ in my life and career….please, live YOUR life “for such a time as this” be who you are, and achieve the things that only you are given the talent, and opportunities to achieve.

~Amber Elizabeth (from her site, click image above)



Bloated AND Beautiful

Every person has a purpose and a reason for being on earth 

~Sanaya Roman


Sometimes it is easier to get caught up in the emotion of the day than it is to stay focused on the purpose for being here on earth.  What I am coming to terms with is how my emotions create a distorted purpose for me and I become quickly obsessed and off track rather than looking at the facts of what is going on around me.


When you deal with factual thoughts there is not the drama like there is in an emotionally driven thought.  For example, I have been extremely bloated and constipated for the past three days.  Now I am miserable because my normal clothes are tight.  This immediately triggers emotions of anger and frustration and ultimately the thought that I am not good enough.  I then spiral into my routine self-abuse state that no human being should have to endure.  It leaves me hopeless, rejected and paralyzed.


Taking the same scenario from above and this time I choose to take a look at the facts in front of me to formulate a different way of looking at my perceived bloated belly.  In the past week my water intake has been decreased as I have been on a photo shoot all week in a remote location and water was not readily available.  I also have not been eating healthy and my workouts have been cut out of my routine because of the early morning photo shoot times.


None of these facts are incriminating.  They are observations for my brain to look at and notice I started a new job and the routine is unfamiliar which made the week a bit more of a challenge.  No wonder I am bloated.  Acceptance then can settle in and I can relax.  Now my old self wants to take the emotion and draw the drama out to the point that over night I have become morbidly obese and no one will ever want to be with me.  Interesting.  All of this goes on inside of my head and its not even 8am.  I am exhausted.


My point, I am beautiful.  I do have purpose on this earth beyond my emotional state of mind.  When I can get to the space that I am aware I am being driven by my emotions I can step back and change my thoughts over to the facts.  Did I mention it was also Fourth of July and the chocolate chip cookies were so delicious I needed to have 4 or 5…no 6!


How do you get to a place of knowing what is emotionally charged thought?  Be Still.  Notice what you are feeling, get out your journal, write it out and then begin to ask questions like:  Is this true?  For me, I know that in the past my stomach has dictated what kind of day I will have.  If it is flat then I can be happy.  If it is bloated, then I have to look at it and feel hate, anger and frustration that ultimately takes me out of my body, out of the moment I am in and away from my purpose for being here on this earth.


I can just imagine Charlotte from Charlotte’s Web waking up in the morning and feeling bloated and saying to Wilbur…I am sorry I can’t do what I was created to do today…I am to bloated and fat.  But isn’t that what we are doing to ourselves?


I was doing a photo shoot of a single mom and her daughter this week.  Before we even got started she gave me a list of what she doesn’t like about herself.  I could only see her beauty and was sad that she was doing this to herself.  At that moment she became my mirror.  I am giving myself a list before I even get out of bed of all the things that I don’t like about me.  I not sure I know anyone who would be motivated by this type of list.


It is a habit I am breaking slowly.  You see I have a smile that inspires.  Weird to hear let alone write down and share with the world, but it is true.  I also have purpose in my life:  be still.  be inspired.  be love.  I cannot achieve any of these on a daily basis when I am emotionally charged about the way I look.


Do you know your purpose for being here on this earth?  Is there a part of you that you don’t like that is keeping you from being your purpose?  If we get caught in the emotions of not being enough, whatever not enough is for you, then we are not living our purpose.  When we are living our purpose we are filled with amazing joy and a knowing that is beyond anything a bloated belly could give you!


be still