I wouldnāt have even seen her, she was so frail, but for the blood curdling scream that rent the air.
My dog and I had just arrived at the pediatrics floor of the local hospital for therapy visits. Ashana, (I donāt know her real name for confidentiality purposes) was just leaving and stood at the elevator with her mother around the corner from me. The doors yawned, they stepped inside and she was gone. I found out later from the nurses that four-year-old Ashana is terrified of dogs, butt as our conversation progressed I learned a little bit more.
Ashana has cancer. They found it when she was two. For the last two years, she has spent ten days a month in the hospital receiving treatments.
āThatās not the first time Iāve heard her cry like that,ā one of the nurses said. āIt happens almost every time she leaves. She loves it here. But if you think about it, this hospital will probably be most of what she remembers of her early years. Itās like a second home to her.ā
I pictured that tiny little girl and her mother. Talk about a trial, a refinerās fire.
When someone is in the middle of those flames, the worst thing you can say is something like, āWhat doesnāt kill you makes you strongerā or, āGod is working in you. Youāll come out of this much stronger on the other side.ā
But thatās what we think isnāt it? We imagine that God crafts our personal struggles to test our faith. But maybe, itās the other way around. Maybe, God allows struggles and pain in our lives to prove HIS faithfulness, not to test ours.
Remember the story of Elijah running for his life in 1 Kings 19? The wicked Queen Jezebel was massacring the Lordās prophets and was gunning for Elijah. The prophet ran and hid in the wilderness of Mount Sinai. He was so miserable and lonely that he told God he would rather die.Ā But God sent birds to feed Elijah; He even came personally and allowed Elijah to glimpse His glory.
Elijahās experience in the wilderness did not prove his faithfulness. In fact, it proved his weaknessāHe felt hopeless and wanted to die. The experience didnāt make him stronger, Elijah was not suddenly a mightier man of God than he had been before. Instead, those moments in the wilderness proved that God was faithful; in the middle of that trial, God proved that He was strong enough, able enough to care for Elijah when all else seemed lost.
Romans 5:3-5, urges us to find joy even in the middle of our pain: āNot only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.Ā And hope does not put us to shame, because Godās love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.ā
Did you notice that Paul doesnāt say, āsuffering makes you strongerā? Suffering produces perseverance. Perseverance means, ādetermination for a course of action, purposeā.Ā (dictionary.com)
In our pain and suffering God proves His faithfulness; He proves His strength in the midst of our weakness. It is there, we see His faithfulness and understand that He is able to care for us no matter the situation.