Light and Splintered Tree

I wept as I was overwhelmed

By lists and piles of things.

I longed for simpler

Winsome days of sand and plastic swings.

Now life is running on the sand.

Each step sinking low –

Like trudging through molasses.

Frustration. Agonizing. Slow.

Must. Get. There.

Must finish, arrive.

But I often wonder what

For I am compelled to strive.

Sweat pours mingled with tears of loss.

I refuse His yoke and the weight of the cross.

If I would but stop and lower my knee.

Bend and take up that splintered tree.

If I would walk with Him, strive with Him, pull with Him.

He vowed to lessen the load.

“Easy,” He called it. “Light,” He said.

Why my pride, march on instead?

Wonders of Wonders, Miracles of Miracles!

It is a lie from the pit of hell that God doesn’t do miracles anymore. I’m sure I’ve experience my fair share of them. To my chagrin, I’ve also forgotten most of them. They don’t seem as  exciting as the Biblical supernatural healings, people walking out of their graves or the never ending fish and loaves. But this week I have witnessed two miracles, God forbid I forget them!

Several weeks ago I woke up with terrible knee pain. I don’t know what I did. Suddenly, excruciating pain squealed circles around my knee cap when I walked. Oddly enough, walking hurt worse than squats or going up the stairs. For days I hoped it would simply go away. Then I started desperately praying that it would go away. I admit, my primary motivation for ridding myself of this pain, was so that I could continue my strenuous workouts – long runs, etc.

Every few days my knee would feel a little better, I’d push it a little further and then it would deteriorate to worse than before. Tuesday morning, I thought it was significantly improved and I took off on a 7 mile run. Dumb, dumb, dumb. I was in agony the rest of the day. Fear nibbled at the back of my mind, “You’ve probably screwed it up so badly you’ll never run again. You certainly won’t be able to run the half marathon in March. How stupid and obviously obsessed with exercise can you be to have gone out and run yesterday?”

Wednesday was even worse.

Then, I woke up on Thursday morning and the pain was gone. Completely gone. I hopped up and down, ran up and down the stairs, walked the dog – did everything to try and make it hurt again. I can’t. The pain is gone.

I called my doctor-sister, “Unless you can give me a really good medical explanation, I think I just had a miracle!”


Last Monday, I emailed the property manager of our house in Washington State. I was concerned because the direct deposit from our renters was $500 short. Oops, she had forgotten to tell me that they had applied the “military clause,” allowing them to break their lease early. Overnight, I was back to paying a mortgage and rent. Panic ensued.

By now you probably know that I’m overly dramatic. I quickly reassessed our spending and decided we would live on canned food for the rest of our lives, I would never get my hair cut again, I need to cancel our cell phones, fire the cleaning lady, drop the thermostat and shut off the internet.

I contacted a realtor and asked her to help me look at selling the home. Our prospects were dismal, “You stand to lose about $50,000,” she told me. I was on the verge of tears all day long. I agonized over what to do. If we sold it, I would spend the rest of our lives recouping our loss.

That night I was exhausted and headed home with a glass of Cabernet on my mind. I realized that I’d missed a call from our property manager. Just that day she had processed our renter’s move-out.

“Hi Abby. I know you mentioned trying to sell the house this time, but if you’re willing to rent it again, I have it rented 110%!” Tears sprang to my eyes. I had spent the day wallowing in distrust of God, self-pity and fear. I had wrestled with options and battled with discouragement. The whole time, God had already solved my supposed problem.

When I got home, I fell to my knees on the kitchen floor and begged God to forgive me for thinking I needed to solve my own problems – for thinking I could solve my own problems. How could I doubt Him?


Happy Thanksgiving from Arlington VA

Happy Thanksgiving! Nothing turned out as it was originally planned. Oh well. Thank the Lord for all the volunteers in the world who beat me to the punch and offered their time, energy and hospitality to serve others on this holiday. Try as I might, I couldn’t find anywhere to offer my less-than-excellent culinary skills today. So…Brave and I went to run the 36th annual Arlington Turkey Trot 5 miler. The weather was more delicious than pumpkin pie! The crowd was fantastic, about 4000 people. Sorry I didn’t get a picture of the guy dressed out full turkey regalia. You can imagine!

I thank my God in every remembrance of you. And this is my prayer that your love my grow more and more in knowledge and depth of insight. So that you may know what is best and God’s will. And that you will grow in righteousness and purity to the glory of Jesus Christ. (taken from Phil 1)